I like a well-turned ankle as much as the next guy, but…
June 17, 2010
Lately our friend Ligon Duncan has been offering up “classics” from his “Pastor’s Perspective” piece in the FPC Jackson newsletter, The First Epistle. Here’s a still timely excerpt from his October 16, 2001, column re: modesty…
…regarding modesty, I have been approached recently by a number of godly women in our congregation who have, independently of one another, expressed their concerns to me about the lack of modesty in the clothing of many of the girls and young women in our own church. Now, I realize that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, but allow me to venture a few comments.
Current styles of dress are not exactly helping our young people in the direction of modesty. The headmaster of our Day School spoke to our Session Monday night and spoke in passing of the “Britney-ization” of our girls (referring to the famous pop icon, singer/dancer, and pin-up girl – Britney Spears). Of course, this is nothing new. Fashion has always posed certain challenges for Christians. However, we seem to be in a phase of particular, acute and widespread compromise.
I saw a column by Terry Johnson (Senior Minister of the Independent Presbyterian Church in Savannah, Georgia) a few weeks ago addressing this issue in his own congregation. He said: “I remember long ago reading Eric Segal’s description of the heroine in Love Story (through the thought of her ‘preppie’ suitor) that there had never seen so much as an additional button left unbuttoned on her blouse. This was Segal’s way of describing her modesty. She exposed nothing! Somehow I can’t imagine a novel today having such a line. Our culture is so far gone in the direction of immodesty that Jennifer (no puritan herself) seems quaint, almost Jane Austenish. The spandex revolution has taken its toll. In addition to shorts and skirts that are way too short (what’s wrong with the top of the knee?), and necklines that plunge way too low, we must now contend with tops and bottoms that are ridiculously too tight.”
Elisabeth Elliott has raised a timely point abut modesty in her newsletter. She quotes a letter from a listener: “Where are the men? Why are they so passive on this issue? I’m speaking particularly of husbands and fathers who allow their wives and daughters to appear publicly in an inappropriate and immodest fashion. This issue is close to my heart because we have been blessed with three sons and three daughters. My heart’s desire is to teach them the responsibility that goes with purity and abstinence, to appear and behave in such a way that God is honored. But what do we say to our children when many of the Christian girls they meet and with whom they interact do not practice modesty? Though they profess the name of Christ, their appearance certainly causes godly young men to strive valiantly with their thoughts. I thank God for a godly husband, who guards and gives guidance to our daughters and to me. May our children have the strength to respond in a godly way in spite of the tremendous pressures to compromise. I realize this is not a popular issue to talk about, but it is a concern that is close to my heart and I believe close to the heart of our Heavenly Father.” (From Gateway to Joy, May 24, 2001).
Cream of blog 10.05.11
May 11, 2010
A few blog posts worthy of your time
- Kevin DeYoung on that feeling of perpetual guilt you may have.
- Kevin DeYoung on questions we should ask when people are disappointed with the church. (part one, two, and three)
- Got a “Swagger Wagon”? You might want one after watching these two videos.
- And another thing: Is your worship contemporvant? Let these guys show you how to fix that.
- Jonathan Dodson on 5 reasons you may not be seeing spiritual growth.
Jesus is pure; his bride wasn’t
March 10, 2010
Russell Moore gives a gospel-saturated answer to a young woman asking about what she has a right to know about her boyfriend’s sexual past and when she has a right to know it. Take and read.
Also read Jeremiah 3.
There is a fountain
February 25, 2010
A serious topic: NPR news is broadcasting a series entitled “Campus Rape Victims: A Struggle for Justice.” The stats are alarming: one out of five college women report being the victim of a sexual assault! My experience in campus ministry and as a local church pastor (including 4+ years in a large state university town) has given me more opportunities than I would like to face this ugly reality.
Despite efforts to curb these assaults over the last decade, there’s not much evidence of progress. Why? Simple answers include: victim shame, the haze of alcohol (it tends to reduce clarity about whether sex was consensual or not), the desire of the male to deny and cover up, and (very sadly) the fear in some leaders who worry too much about false accusations. Yes, people do lie. However, the ones who bear that cost are usually victims.
The shame felt by victims stays with them a long time. It hinders marital intimacy and oneness, as a victim often does not tell her husband about “what happened in college,” afraid that he would not marry her if he knew the truth. The victim feels like damaged goods and ends up feeling ruled by the shame.
As Christians, it’s not a question of if we will deal with such issues; it’s more a question of when. Most of us can present the gospel in a way that deals with sins for which we bear responsibility and guilt. While this is true and essential, we also need to speak clearly about the ways the gospel addresses sins that have been committed against us. You cannot repent of being abused, tortured, or raped; however, the blood and righteousness of Christ speak of cleansing and hope for shame and defilement. Your identity must be marked only by what Jesus Christ has done for you and no longer by what has been done by you or to you. The scriptural language of atonement, cleansing, washing and purifying speaks a powerful truth to such souls. Jesus’ sacrifice takes away sin and shame forever for those who trust him. It’s a simple truth, but, as John Owen would say, “exceedingly difficult to exercise faith upon.”
Mark Driscoll and Garry Breshears’ Death by Love: Letters from the Cross has a chapter which addresses this issue wonderfully.
Tripp on pastors
February 3, 2010
Here are notes taken from a Monday pre-conference seminar by Paul Tripp:
I don’t know how many ministers of the gospel read this blog, but this is one you really should read. Elders and anyone else who has the opportunity to be a good friend to his pastor ought to read these notes as well.
Cream of blog 12.18.09
December 18, 2009
The Sweet Dropper has been silent about 10 days, as a trip to Belize has hindered my blogging. Here are a few blog entries worth your time.
- Gene Edward Veith comments on findings of The Pew Forum, which reports that Americans are becoming increasingly syncretistic in their religious views and practices.
- Tim Keller on how to deal with criticism, and how John Newton has helped him respond in godly ways.
- Justin Taylor with resources on helping men gain victories in the battle against lust.
- CCEF has posted Tim Lane’s pamphlet Family Feuds: How to Respond–great teaching and equipping for Christmas family gatherings and the conflicts that go with them.
DEH
November 10, 2009
A brother in Christ here told his daughter’s suitor, “I’ll give my blessing to your marriage…but you must promise me this: that you will never stop courting her.” He is a wise father, and one who practices what he preaches with his own wife. Cultivating marital oneness with your spouse requires ongoing effort. I’m a fellow struggler in this effort, but I’d love to share with you a helpful way to think about it and plan for it, courtesy of Focus on the Family’s Young Married blog:
You can remember it with the acronym DEH. Our counselors (a seasoned married couple with grown children) urged us to attempt to incorporate DEH into our marriage. D is for date. Have a date once a week. This can be discussion over coffee after a church service or popcorn and a movie at home after the kids have gone to bed.
E is for event. Plan one monthly. Spouses may trade off planning events. This might be a hike and picnic lunch on a Saturday afternoon, going to a play together or enjoying a nice dinner out. An event should feel special and intentional.
H is for happening. A happening takes place, generally, once a quarter. A happening can range from a weekend away at a bed and breakfast to a road trip to a nice vacation.
Of course, DEH is a rule of thumb. There will be times when finances, children and other life circumstances hinder living out DEH. But at those times, it’s helpful to still aspire to the formula. Maybe a happening looks like spending the night at a local hotel while friends watch the baby. DEH is just a tool. The important thing is to make dates with your mate a priority.
Confession 101
October 21, 2009
So you sinned against someone this week? Tell me something I don’t know. Sinners have this remarkable tendency to sin. I can think of a couple of occasions when I have heard otherwise mature Christians “apologize” and have felt compelled to say, “If one of my children apologized like that, I would take him back to the nearest bedroom and spank him.”
Instead of being surprised by our sin or the sins of others, we should learn how to deal with it rightly. In a recent article prompted by a major league baseball players public apology for using human growth hormones banned by the league, C. J. Mahaney writes about wrong and right ways to deal with your sin. Wrong ways include using the word “if” (e.g., “I’m sorry if you were offended”), providing lengthy explanations of why you sinned, seeking understanding for your sin, being indignant about being caught. Here’s Mahaney’s description of a right way to confess sin:
A confession that is sincere and pleasing to God will be specific and brief. I have learned to be suspicious of my confession if it’s general and lengthy. A sincere confession of sin should be specific (“I was arrogant and angry when I made that statement; will you please forgive me for sinning against you in this way?”) and brief (this shouldn’t take long). When I find myself adding an explanation to my confession, I’m not asking forgiveness but instead appealing for understanding….Genuine conviction of sin is evidenced by a sincere, specific, and brief confession of sin, without any reference to circumstances or the participation of anyone else. When I sin, I am responsible for my sin, and the cause of my sin is always within my heart and never lies outside my heart.
Such honest, humble and responsible confession is liberating, because there is One who is able to provide full and complete forgiveness of sin–any sin. Because of the death of Jesus Christ the righteous one, sin may be completely forgiven. How foolish we are to run to self-justifying and deflecting strategies in view of the depth of mercy we can experience through the substitutionary sacrifice of his Son for my sins on the cross. May our confession of sin be sincere and specific confession, sorrowful about sin and amazed at the rich provision of God’s grace.
Cream of blog: 29 September 2009
September 29, 2009
- Explore the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview, a vast library of print and audio media files from Colson and many others.
- From Gene Edward Veith’s blog, a glimpse at where the debate about gay marriage is heading for some–the abolition of marriage itself.
- Also from Veith, thoughts concerning the Christian origins of health care as we know it in the West. (Atheists are fond of claiming that Christianity is a toxic presence in the history of civilization.)
- Actions steps for anxiety from Tullian Tchividjian.
- A review of Paul Miller’s A Praying Life from Coram Deo, Omaha, Nebraska.
Dark day in Church of Scotland
May 25, 2009
The General Assembly of the Church of Scotland has voted to sustain a call to a minister who is in an openly same-sex partnership. Here is the story as covered by Scotland on Sunday. Here are links to pieces by two outstanding Scottish brethren:
- David Robertson (of the Free Church congregation of St. Peter’s, Dundee) with spot-on commentary and a summary of what he told his congregation yesterday about the matter.
- David Meredith with thoughts on whither for the Confessing Churches.
